Jose's Platform

Jarvis Bike Path

Biking is an important part of Toronto life. Jose will reinstate the Jarvis bike path so the city will once again be accessible by pedal power. Everyone knows you should do some cardio after a good session of lifting at the gym.

NHL Lockout

Why is an American suit in New York from the NBA ruining hockey? Turn leadership over to the Canadians who love the sport.

Hockey's back! You're welcome Toronto. What else can Jose do for you?

In-N-Out Burger

In-N-Out is delicious, but it's not in Toronto? It will be when Jose is mayor. He’s already in the 40-40 club, now everyone can join him in the double-double club.


The Hug Store will always be open when Jose is mayor. Hugs for everyone, especially the 2.6 million residents of Toronto.

Meeting Length

No meetings should ever be more than 25 minutes. Why talk when you can get things done? No government meeting will take longer than it takes to get a pizza delivered from Papa Johns.


Toronto is and will always be a hater free zone. Any haters will be slapped...with a steep fine.

Paths to the Mayor's Office

We know what you're thinking - how can Jose become Mayor of Toronto if he's not yet a Canadian citizen? Here are just a few of the paths that Jose is currently pursuing. If you can help Jose achieve citizenship, please contact his manager, Joe Melendez, at

Political Asylum

Jose was born in Cuba. There is no law against dual US and Canadian Asylum, and Jose is a refugee, so he can seek political asylum in Canada. Note: This is top secret.


Jose can marry a Canadian to get citizenship. Any Canadian.

Steve Harper

Steve Harper has the power to make Jose an Instant Canadian. Just like Gorbachev did for Gerard Depardieu. Special gifts may or may not be involved.

Convert to Eskimo

Jose can convert to Eskimo and join a tribe. Eskimo are designated First Nation and are the original Canadians. Most live in Edmonton, but that particular factoid won't be a dealbreaker.

Contact Get in touch with Jose.

It's very easy to get in touch with Jose. Just email Joe Melendez at
If you want to ask Jose a question directly, you can do so here!

Stand & fight for the truth. Don't let any person or group of people take advantage of you. Fight the liars & hypocrites. Good & honest people suffer too much.

Jose Canseco, 2012

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